"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in" Kimo Corleone

"They burned up a pot of Christmas Chittlins" Robert Kramer

"How about a little Barry White while we work?" Curtis Carpenter

"I took a herd of cats to the drive-inn" Rebecca Luckey

"Pain is good, it means your still alive" Helmet Werner

"I don't believe I'd a told that one, son" Henry Posey

"Aquaaaa el leakeo" Marlon Cooper

"Don't let the hand you hold, hold you down" Adam Sireci

"Doing a good job around here is like peeing in a dark suit,
It makes you feel warm but nobody notices" Jason Bolt

"Nip it in the Bud" Michael "Barney" Naifeh

"I enjoy working with Earnest Gray" Gary Gallo

"Wooo!! I sat on my bed and it fell apart" Thomas Champion

"I'm Here for Ya!!" Lt. Glover E8-A

"I should have picked 'Heads'" Jason Bolt

"Mitch, there's no crying in S.O.R.T." The guys from Special Ops

"If you learn to walk with a crutch, you'll always have a limp" David Hendricks

"Staging is set at the Kursh-Mercial Appeal" Randy Humphrey

"Well, how pregnant are you?" Vincent Clark

"Listen Kid, I drove this truck down alleys you wouldn't carry the steering wheel"
No Name

"I swear Lt. Lorenz, I didn't send in that quote" Chris Watts E8C

"I'm not eating Jeff's Alpo burgers" Clint Pope

"You can lead a horse to water, but if you can make him speak, you've got
something" Patrick Frazier

"Dispatch, U22 on scene, I have a 2 car wreck with 5 patients,
I'm declaring a mass casualty incident" Kevin Burns

"Work the job, don't let the job work you" Jason Jefferies

"Rescue 2, bring your squeegee with you" B1-A (Gibson Guitar Fire)

"Chief, I would give a stray dog a bone" Keith Bomar

"What had happened was..." 'Chuck' Joel Williams

"Chief, I'm tired of investigations, depositions, and writing redlines.
Can I go to the 27s...by myself?" Steve Perry

"I don't think the price of eggs is worth the wear and tear on a hen's tail"
Frank Beach

"Hey, it's kinda tight in here" Michael 'Bones' Lewis

"You have 6 days to get out of my engine house" Lt. Lochbihler

"Everything went to Heck in a handbasket" D/C Mathisen

"What about me, I drove them there, I should get a medal too" Mitch Lemmons

"Dispatch, Unit 2 in service, we have a dog DOA" Jason Martin

"Come to the Chicken Coop, where the eggs are always fresh" Carl & Dano

"It probably would have killed an ordinary human being" Dennis Lorenz

"You never post anything I send you" John Baskin

"Go away, you're confusing me, just go away" Terry Faulkner

"Special Rules for Special People" Jason Bolt

"Gary Gallow makes the bowling alley come alive" Tina Mathenia

"Another beautiful day at the 2's" Steve Kozbiel

"The skunk had turned to skunk pudding" Roger Powell

"You have pretty feet" King Mabel to Beth Turner

"Well, if you were my mom..." BJ Egbert

"I am still undefeated in arm wrestling" Mike Coughlin

"I'll do bad things to you, I'm not too long out of the trailer park" Frankie G. Busby

"Chief, is that a direct order or mearly a suggestion?" Lt. Roger Peck

"Calling it 'your job' doesn't make it right Boss" Ed Jeter

"Never has one man done so little for so few for so much money" Charlie Burke

"Why have sausage for breakfast when you can have it now?" Henry Rutledge

"Where's my duck call?" Gary Gallo

"I ain't eating lunch, wake me for supper" KC LeBlanc

"We will call the chief, but let me see if I can fix it first" Bryant Boone

"SORT, The reason we're all here is because we're not 'all there' " Tony Redwine

"That barbell could have used a little salt & pepper" Lt. Barker

"Don't use my underwear to blow your nose" Lt. Tim Greganti

"Sidney! Are you in here Sidney!?" Dwayne Mitchell
Our new rookie, as he shouted in the bedhall at 3pm

"You'll never get out as cheap tomorrow as you will today" Uncle Rick

"Happy Fat Tuesday, Henry" A-Shift BC's

"Go Hard or Go Home" Kimo Naumann"

"I've been bamboozled" Brandon Barker

"Hell, I've been in bars smokier than that" B/C Henry Posey

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse" Lt Roger Peck

"I took the nozzle cuz I couldn't find anyone man enough" Lt. Kenny Lepard

"I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico" Wordlaw

"It's not rocket science" B/C T.A. Norris

"Holy Cow, He smoked ol' blue" Andy Kirk

"If you don't return that $160 Ping Pong paddle, you're going to sleep on the Ping Pong Table" Lt. Brigham's Wife

"Experience is something that you don't get until you need it" Michael 'Bones' Lewis

"I'm just a simple fireman" David Langley

"Don't grow a wishbone where your backbone oughtta be" S.R. Clifton

"Never eat more than your mask will hold" Mike Stallings

"Ah, son, y' shid never send a beautiful woman down the road with no money in her pockets" Matt Harris

"The worst thing I ever had come out of my nose was a pinto bean"
Brent McKinnes

"If I tell you the chicken can pull the train, hook him up" John Gish

"Kiss Ole Spot" Cody Childress

"Dammit man, I just wanted to stay out of the spotlight" Charlie Mestemacher

"My women are like my trucks, I can't keep one more than 6 years" Steve Walls

"If you don't like the rules, stick around, they'll all change" John C. Wright

"I had 7 yrs on the job when I came and did career day at your school"
Louis Martin

"Lady, we can't save everybody" Insp. PT Hall (Retired)

"Your O-U-@!*@'n - T  OUT" Robert Allison

"We've got a front row seat to the biggest circus in the world" B/C L. Distretti

"Like a turkey through the corn" Lt. David Perry

"We may not know what we're doing, but we look good doing it"
Chief Norris (Retired)

"The hard jobs take a little time, the impossible ones take a little longer" J. Dalton

"The little General's in the house" David Whitaker

"Rehab is for quitters" B/C Henry Posey

"You can keep that skoal baby" Matt Harris

"Bring 'em out to the curb, we'll be there soon" Christopher Crockett

"1 will get you 3, 2 will set you free!" B/C Till (On unit details)

"Falling in love is so Easy!" Ray Kelly

"It's all about ME!" Steve Breault

"By God" Billy Vaughn

"Kroger has chicken quarters on sale" Ronnie Jeanes

"I'm not going bald, that's how I cut my hair" Brandon Lowery

"Save your money, you'll need it" G. Noah

"This one time at Battalion 9..." B/C Boyd

"I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired" Scooter Rice

"That's how the cow ate the cabbage" JD Stinson

"Hit it like you live, FAST & HARD" Steve Kozbiel

"Resistance to Tyranny is Not an Option.....
For a True Man it is an Obligation" Lumpy

"Dammit boy, are you alive?!" Paul Craft (to Shannon Murphree)

"Renee, bring me a bucket of chili cheese Titan Dog's" Mitch Lemmons

"The coldest winter I ever remember was a summer at BBQ Fest" Mike Mitchell

"Gimme that pike pole" Lt. Morrison

"People get the maddest when you tell them the truth" David Hendricks

"Your hired, from the neck down" D/C Jerry Crawford

"Get your shoes" Pam (Hall) Keistler

"It sounded like a plate spinning on the floor,
But I never felt one shake the whole building" Lt. Batsell Booker

"Another satisfied customer" Landon McKee

"If they would have had all them medals when I was on the company, I would have looked like a French General" Thomas Malone

"If you see me in a fight with a bear, help the bear" Joe Fred Cooperwood

"Disregard the Truck Co., I'll just get some bystanders to help" Jason Martin

"You thought like Aunt Anna" Ramsey 'Rambo' Bancroft

"I hope next time I drive down Jefferson,
there's nothing there but a slab" John Curtiss

"Can you walk if we help you?" Lori Tandy

"Don't quote me on that" Rebecca Luckey

"Dont 'Hey Captain' me. Ya'll are gonna make me do something
to lose my job" 201 - Riley

"I didn't mean no harm" John Wright

"To be the man, you gotta beat the man" Billy Uselton

"A clean pumper is a happy pumper" Richard Howell

"Run em in the river 'til their hats float" Sam Hall

"Protect the innocent, persuade the undecided, refuse the rest" Pat Sullivan 

"Click Here to ENTER" B-4A @ 7's quasi-annual conference

"Deep in the bowels of Hell" Bubba Atkinson

"Eat til your sleepy, Sleep til your hungry" Lance Gray

"Chief'n aint easy" Henry Posey

"Shortdawg went to England to straighten out his longfellow" Jed Johnson

"We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing" Bill Kindrick

"My prediction is pain for the L-Train" Wild Bill Richardson

"Privates, that's what my Daddy called his nuts" Henry Posey

"Why don't we just send reserve equipment on false alarms" Bob James , 70's city councilman


Click Here to Listen to MFD world record dispatcher dispatch an automatic alarm for Methodist Central Hospital. ( I was asked to remove her name, so you'll have to use your own imagination ).

Send us a quote:


Dispatcher TOP 10

10 "No further information is available"
09 "Party is conscious, but unresponsive "
08 "Car locked and running, check for fire danger "
07 "Unit __ your location ? "    ( Every 2 minutes until you get to the station )
06 "Party having continuous or multiple seizures "
05 "Party called from a payphone, requested an ambulance then hung up "
04 "Use caution, known gang activity in area
03 "Is the unit in the house? "
02 "Police advise they have no cars available... "
01 "Patient is sweating and changing colors "

I still haven't figured out why during the day, when they have a multi-alarm response, you never hear anything; but come 2am they open up the vocal alarm and wake up every fireman in the city.

 1438  ( Radio Repair )
All Companies check your mic, we have a stuck mic.

a) If the radio is transmitting, it will not be able to receive message
b) The radio ID is displayed when transmitting, so why ask everyone?

Top 10 Things not to do to Riley

Goodnight Carl Behlen, Wherever you are!